This is really more of a passing thought than a real blog post, but it’s something I feel like putting out there because I think a lot of people need to hear it.
When I was still in college, I began fantasizing about having kids. This was before I knew I’d be facing off with infertility of course. At that time, my biggest worry was over money and resources. We were living in an apartment. Could we afford a house and, subsequently, a baby?
Like many in my generation, when I feel hopeless and need answers, I google pathetic phrases hoping to find some line of comfort out there in the world wide web. Praying would probably bring me more peace, but there it is. So I googled. I googled things like “I really want to have kids but I’m worried about money.” and “How do you financially prepare to start a family?”
What I found was that everyone’s always worried about money. Even people who already have kids. Money is always a worrying thought. The general consensus of the interwebs was that if you wait until you can afford a baby, you’ll never have one. The same goes for buying a house or adopting a pet or taking a new job or traveling the world.
How much money is enough? That’s just the problem. It will never matter how much you have, you could always use more.
Still, I turned to my friend in Georgia, who deserves a post all her own really. She said basically the same thing – that kids are expensive but really everything is. Money can’t be the deciding factor on big life decisions like this.
Now? Well, money’s the last of my worries. It still comes up – fertility medicine and treatments are expensive, as is adoption or surrogacy. But there are much bigger problems. I’ve found that every time I’ve worried excessively over a little thing, life’s shown me something bigger worth worrying about – don’t give life a reason to do that!
I feel like money is this weird little white lie in the hierarchy of evil. It’s really not the biggest problem you’ll ever have, but it’ll play a part in every problem you ever have. That’s why it makes so many people fight and get divorces and do awful things – it’s the tangible way to measure intangible problems.
I just want to say that if money is your problem, or you feel it’s holding you back from something, don’t let it. Go for whatever it is. Money will continue to come and go. You’ll be richer and poorer and that can’t be the most important thing to you. Don’t let money be a decision-maker. It’s so fickle.
You’re not alone. We’re all always struggling with money. That’s life. It’s ok. Focus on what matters.