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Surgery #3 This Thursday

Hello blog-land. I wanted to write and let you all know that this Thursday I’ll be going in for my third laparoscopy for endo removal. Blogging will probably be sporadic  this week.

If you’re a regular reader, you know that I’ve been trying to avoid this third surgery. Since my second operation didn’t make me feel much better, I had firmly decided to not have another one until after trying to have a baby first. It was costly and didn’t seem to pay off much. Since there had been a nice 4 year gap between my first and second surgery, I expected to have a lot of time at my disposal. This was a bit naive.

Not that I didn’t want to try to get pregnant yet. I’ll write more about this mixed up crazy emotional rollercoaster later, but for now I’ll be brief so I can go back to resting. My cousin had her first baby about a year ago, and when I found out she was pregnant I really wanted to try and get pregnant right away so our two little ones could grow up together just like we had – we were born only a couple of months apart. Of course, at the time, I was struggling with a job that, while it paid plenty, had me working unpaid overtime literally every day. As in a 10 hour day was a kind of short day. Plus we had just moved in with my parents while we looked for our first home. It wasn’t ideal, to say the least.

And of course, once we did have a house, we certainly didn’t suddenly stop being busy. Remodeling, unpacking, and getting settled into new jobs kept putting it off longer.

When my health first took a huge nosedive, I rather foolishly hoped it was because I had gotten pregnant. My period disappeared, and what else could that mean? But a bulk pack of pregnancy tests, two blood tests, and a sonogram proved pretty conclusively that I was not. Meanwhile, I was getting sicker and sicker. I hurt every single day, and I started wondering about surgery. Should I get one, could I put it off? Was I in enough pain yet to warrant it? Pain is so objective that it’s often a struggle just to decide whether or not to take a pill!

Then it went from chronic pain, to pain every day, to pain all day, every day, without stopping. I’m on pain medication all day now. As nice as it would be to try the all natural route of the healing powers of pregnancy, it looks like my body won’t wait anymore. As my doctor said, it’s a question of quality of life. I won’t die from pain, but at some point, something must be done. My doctor suggested surgery months ago actually, back when my pain days were merely more frequent. But I’m stubborn.

Nope, this isn’t what I had planned, and I’m not very happy about it. But at the same time, I’m feeling so bad that I just want to get past this point. Now Thursday can’t come fast enough!

I’ll try to keep you all posted but like I said, updates will likely be sporadic. I have a guest post I can hopefully get up, and maybe even finish some other posts that are overdue as well. Thank you all for reading and for being such good friends. Hope to talk soon!

~Rachel

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About rachelmeeks

My name is Rachel Meeks. I have endometriosis, an incurable pain condition, IBS, a digestive illness, and PCOS, which causes irregular periods and infertility. After keeping my illnesses a secret, I started to get upset about how my fellow sick people were being mistreated because of ignorance. I knew that I'd need to stand up, make some noise, wear my heart on my sleeve, and admit that I am not well to make a difference.

23 responses to “Surgery #3 This Thursday

  1. OUR PRAYERS & GOD’S WILL BE DONE!!!!!

  2. mo

    Hoping this surgery will do away with the pain, and that the little sperms will find a clean pathway to make you a baby! My fingers are crossed for you Rachel!
    mo

  3. Sending you healing thoughts for a quick recovery from your laparoscopy! Aaargh. I had to do a colonoscopy before my last one so it was double the fun! Bleh! I hope they zap all that nasty endo, you have the best anesthesiologist ever, and especially that the surgery works and you feel better really soon!

    • Thanks, especially for the good anesthesiologist vibes! Cause this was the first time I ever had one that I actually liked, haha. Only a fellow spoonie knows how important that is!

  4. I figure a little religious diversity cannot hurt here so: אל נא רפא נא לה (el na refa na la). It means “please God heal her.”

  5. Sorry, rest of comment got cut off. Anyway, that was Hebrew and it was Moses’s prayer for his sister Miriam when she got sick. I am not very religious but I use it sometimes as a meditation.

    • I love it. As a Linguist, I love seeing other languages alongside English, and as a Christian, Moses’s story has always touched me very deeply. Thanks so much for sharing this, I’ll definitely be using it as a prayer/meditation a lot now!

  6. Christine ⋅

    All the best to you! Here’s to a successful surgery and speedy recovery.

  7. All the best for a successful surgery, speedy recovery, and clean slate for some nice little babies when the time comes…! Sending super healing thoughts your way xxx

  8. Thinking of you! Have hope and no fear!

  9. Stephanie

    Take care of yourself.

  10. oh rachel that battle of when we wait it out and when we cry uncle is so often illusive and our hearts don’t want to hear what the body is not just saying but screaming. it sounds like this is the right thing at the right time and i will be sending you healing thoughts wrapped in a warm hug:) i hope you find some relief after this part of your journey.

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