Hello blog-land. I wanted to write and let you all know that this Thursday I’ll be going in for my third laparoscopy for endo removal. Blogging will probably be sporadic this week.
If you’re a regular reader, you know that I’ve been trying to avoid this third surgery. Since my second operation didn’t make me feel much better, I had firmly decided to not have another one until after trying to have a baby first. It was costly and didn’t seem to pay off much. Since there had been a nice 4 year gap between my first and second surgery, I expected to have a lot of time at my disposal. This was a bit naive.
Not that I didn’t want to try to get pregnant yet. I’ll write more about this mixed up crazy emotional rollercoaster later, but for now I’ll be brief so I can go back to resting. My cousin had her first baby about a year ago, and when I found out she was pregnant I really wanted to try and get pregnant right away so our two little ones could grow up together just like we had – we were born only a couple of months apart. Of course, at the time, I was struggling with a job that, while it paid plenty, had me working unpaid overtime literally every day. As in a 10 hour day was a kind of short day. Plus we had just moved in with my parents while we looked for our first home. It wasn’t ideal, to say the least.
And of course, once we did have a house, we certainly didn’t suddenly stop being busy. Remodeling, unpacking, and getting settled into new jobs kept putting it off longer.
When my health first took a huge nosedive, I rather foolishly hoped it was because I had gotten pregnant. My period disappeared, and what else could that mean? But a bulk pack of pregnancy tests, two blood tests, and a sonogram proved pretty conclusively that I was not. Meanwhile, I was getting sicker and sicker. I hurt every single day, and I started wondering about surgery. Should I get one, could I put it off? Was I in enough pain yet to warrant it? Pain is so objective that it’s often a struggle just to decide whether or not to take a pill!
Then it went from chronic pain, to pain every day, to pain all day, every day, without stopping. I’m on pain medication all day now. As nice as it would be to try the all natural route of the healing powers of pregnancy, it looks like my body won’t wait anymore. As my doctor said, it’s a question of quality of life. I won’t die from pain, but at some point, something must be done. My doctor suggested surgery months ago actually, back when my pain days were merely more frequent. But I’m stubborn.
Nope, this isn’t what I had planned, and I’m not very happy about it. But at the same time, I’m feeling so bad that I just want to get past this point. Now Thursday can’t come fast enough!
I’ll try to keep you all posted but like I said, updates will likely be sporadic. I have a guest post I can hopefully get up, and maybe even finish some other posts that are overdue as well. Thank you all for reading and for being such good friends. Hope to talk soon!