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Google and Ye Shall Recieve

As my fellow WordPress bloggers know, the stat page is not only fun to watch all day long, but also very informative. One of the most useful tools it offers is the ability to see what people type in to a search bar that leads them to your page.

As my frequent readers know, my top search referral is people asking questions about David Bowie. In fact, I just checked, and my TOP FIVE search terms are David Bowie-centric. I’ve already written some posts trying to appease the Bowie-googlers (here and here) so I won’t go in to that here. And David Bowie, please take note that I’ve inadvertently become a number one source on your well-being. I think a shout out is in order, just saying. My twitter handle is @DoILookSick and it’s a pretty good cause too. Consider it.

Anyway, one day I saw this phrase under my search terms – “I feel sick all the time am I dying?”

Oh you poor googler, it’s going to be alright!!! I don’t even know what to say except that I want to just hug you and make you some tea and then hug you again. I know those feels, I know those feels!

Then I decided it was time I respond to my googlers. Above all else, I hope you find what you’re looking for. And I hope this helps!

“How to look sick.” – PLEASE, for the love of the 1 in 2 people struggling from an invisible, chronic illness, STOP FAKING SICK!!! It truly is the root of so many of the problems and discrimination we face. And every time this pops up (which is often) my heart breaks a little. It’s because of people faking sick to get out of work or school or events that so many people don’t believe we really are sick. Just please, I’m begging you, find another lie.

“Jobs for sick people” – I have had a wide range of jobs, some very good for life with illness and some…not. Obviously any sort of physical labor is probably not going to work out. But really the biggest deciding factor are the people at the job. For instance, I worked as Halloween help at Party City once. This is a bad choice because it’s already temporary work, so the employers are probably going to be less willing to work with you since you’re already disposable. I called in sick FROM THE ER once and they said if I didn’t come in I was fired (please see above for reiteration of why people shouldn’t fake sick).

Long-term jobs with minimal physical labor are best. I was a hostess for a while and that was a harder job because there was a lot of standing and walking. But I had a really, REALLY understanding and sweet management staff and my coworkers were always willing to lend a hand. I’ve had a few desk jobs which are an obvious choice since you can sit all day and you probably won’t have to exert yourself physically. But be warned! You have to take it upon yourself to move around because no movement is just as bad as too much. But seriously, the biggest biggest thing is the people you work with. You’ll be surprised – I’ve worked with business men who are full of compassion, but I’ve also worked with a church that was demanding, ignorant, and cruel. You never can judge a book by its cover.

“Flu like symptoms after surgery” – of course, surgery is no easy thing and you’re likely to not feel well afterwards. It may be nothing but recovery. But do go ahead and track your temperature – if you are running a fever, you may have an infection. I’ve had a few surgeries and only gotten an infection once, and I didn’t notice any difference in how I felt. The only difference was the fever – and antibiotics took care of it.

“I look sick” – Well that doesn’t mean you’re sick. I don’t look sick and I am. 😉

“invisible illness list” – there is no exhaustive list of invisible illnesses. If you’re wondering if your illness counts, it does.

“sleep talking” – yes, that’s a thing. I started doing that when I was on cough syrup with codine. But now it just happens sometimes. Once, my husband and I had a short conversation in our sleep that we both sort of woke up in the middle of. That was weird. I wonder how often we do that.

“How to play clue with two players” – Yes, I developed rules for two-player clue. You’re welcome.

“emitrol” – It’s a medicine for nausea. It’s syrup. It’s awful, and even though it does settle your stomach, the taste makes you gag and really I don’t think it’s worth it. I’ve become a fan of the nausene tablets. Much easier to stomach.

“plant porn” – I could judge you for googling that but I have mentioned it.

“hamster suit” – Yeah I rock that.

IMG_0767

“invisible illness meme” – We got tons of those. I’d post some links but there are SO many that your best bet is to just click the “Follow” button at the bottom of this page.

“maslow triangle”This should help.

“invisible illness awareness week” – Ya just missed the official one, but trust me – every week is invisible illness awareness week as long as so few people are aware of it.

“lipreading mom” – She’s pretty awesome. I interviewed her, check it out here!

“yes baby” – people search that all the time – does anyone know what it means? Or how they get here?

“Rachel radar” – If you’re not looking for this, then I have no idea what you’re looking for.

“endometriosis awareness ribbon” – it’s yellow. Yes, we share with livestrong and support our troops – no wonder we have no awareness!

“bloody pajamas” – one of my favorite comics.

bloodypajamas

“talk to a doctor free” – yes, there is such a thing! Check out healthttap.com!

“true relora” – I do not like it. I do not recommend it.

“excuses for cutting your hair” – like you need an excuse! But, if you insist – click here.

“going on a date sick” – there are LOTS of fun things you can do date-wise even when you’re sick! Check out my post on that here.

“pregnancy cured my endometriosis” – I’ve written a lot about endo and pregnancy, but I don’t have first hand experience. However, many of my readers HAVE had their endo symptoms relieved by pregnancy!

“mendo endometriosis” – “Mendo Men” is an endometriosis support group for men that love women with endometriosis that my husband found on yahoo groups, however I believe the group itself is no longer active. You guys should resurrect this though because it really helped my husband when I was first diagnosed!

“maul female” – Yes, I rock that too.

darth maul girl female gender bender maullie

“Surgery didn’t clear endo” – You may not experience relief from laparoscopic surgery for endometriosis, but in most cases the endo is cleared. Remember that endo is a chronic, incurable disease that will come back. My first surgery offered me three years of relief, while my second didn’t seem to make me feel better at all. Remember that this surgery is for maintenance – keeping up with the removal of endo will help prevent serious problems like fallopian tube damage which can cause infertility. Sadly, though, endo does come back and you may or may not feel better.

“severe toothache with facial swelling” – this is actually an emergency situation, please seek medical help immediately. I literally almost died from this.

“is endometriosis related to marfans?” – Hey readers, a little help on this one? Anyone know?

“i had a laparoscopy a month ago the stitches have come out but the area is really sore” – That’s normal, you’ll probably be sore for a while. Make sure to rest – you do need it.

“St John’s Wort and endometriosis” – I had great success with St. Johns Wort when I was younger, but if you are on any kind of hormone treatment St. John’s Wort will interfere with it, so sadly in most cases it is not an option.

“waiting is good. it means you’re not going to die.the person you need to feel sorry for is the one who gets rushed in e.r to get treated first” – Wise words, googler. This has really stuck with me actually. I quoted it to my husband when I took him to the ER for stitches recently.

“My girlfriend has an invisible illness.” – Then she needs you.

“Where does Rachel Meeks go to church?” – Uh…. stop creeping on me please.

Well I was going to put something at the end here about people who block their search terms and how if I don’t know what you google to get here, I don’t know what you want! But…maybe some things are better left “unknown.”

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About rachelmeeks

My name is Rachel Meeks. I have endometriosis, an incurable pain condition, IBS, a digestive illness, and PCOS, which causes irregular periods and infertility. After keeping my illnesses a secret, I started to get upset about how my fellow sick people were being mistreated because of ignorance. I knew that I'd need to stand up, make some noise, wear my heart on my sleeve, and admit that I am not well to make a difference.

16 responses to “Google and Ye Shall Recieve

  1. Don’t you always feel good when one of the search terms you’ve nailed right on somewhere with a post? You always hope they found that pearl!

  2. You are totally crazy & I love ya!!!!!! 🙂

  3. I love your posts. I always look forward to your sage advice and humor.

  4. I love this blog so much, man I’ve missed reading it! The style of your posts is just awesome.
    I’m getting up to date on your posts so you’re likely gonna get blasted with a bunch of likes and comments from me, just a warning lol.
    Hugs, xx

  5. OMG! This is the funniest post on WP hands down! You’re so silly. I get mildly weird search terms (and hate those blocked ones) but nothing like you get! I wish I had a brain tonight to think of a funny one, but it’s usually just some odd combination of words pulled from 5 different posts that makes no sense. Per the endo and Marfan’s, I wondered about that when I read it and was going to say, “Ask Katie!” (who is above me). It seems way too common in EDS, so could be. Thanks for the laugh (sorry search engine crowd–we do love you).

  6. WordsFallFromMyEyes ⋅

    I’m intrigued, Rachel. I have no idea what people google to get to my page. What… ? Interesting.

    As for David Bowie seekers – I’d be one of those. I can’t get enough news of him. HE’S STILL GORGEOUS.

    • Indeed! If you go to your “dashboard” (which pops up when you mouse over your blog’s name in the header bar) you can see a graph for how many views you’ve gotten the past few days, and under that is a button that says “view all” where you can see how people got to your site, and if they googled, what search terms they used. You can also click on “summaries” to see an overview of all the search terms used since you started your blog. 🙂

      I like David Bowie but I’m sincerely baffled by just how many of my readers found me by looking for him. I’m not David Bowie, sorry guysss, haha.

  7. Serenstar

    This was fun to read 🙂 Now on Endo cured by pregnancy, oh how I wish. I went without diagnosis and treatment because my doctor at the time thought there was NO way I could have endo because I had a daughter. My endo was worse after having her, which was no small feat since I’d been in so much pain since age eleven. Cool post

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