The Joys in Life that Healthy People will Never Experience

So there’s this guy named Max who I met in college, and he has this awesome poetry blog at http://hardlyarthardlygarbage.tumblr.com, and despite the fact that I have this piece of paper saying I was the best undergrad poet while we were at UNT:

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I really just sit on a throne of lies because Max is actually the best undergrad poet at UNT ever. But enough about that. The real reason I’m talking about Max is that he’s been one of the biggest supporters of this blog from the beginning, and he sent me this link like, forever ago. I shared it on our facebook page at the time, but it’s referenced in my mind so often that it clearly deserves it’s own post.

5 Great Joys in Life that Healthy People Never Experience from Cracked.com

Now, usually I hate anything on Cracked. I don’t get list sites, and Cracked in particular tends to be vulgar and I generally disagree with whatever they’re talking about anyway. It’s just not my kind of site. But this article is spot on. And since it’s been over a year since I read it and I STILL think about it almost every day, it’s worth passing on.

Some of my favorite gems:

On Healthy People:

“But they don’t know, do they? They live their whole lives in a Disney movie, facing some form of external adversity that they know, deep down, they’ll ultimately triumph against. You? You’re not just a trial; you’re a puzzle. They’re Aladdin. They’re The Little Mermaid. You’re Memento. You’re motherfucking Inception.”

On Medication:

“If you’re lucky enough to have a condition that can be treated — not even cured, just treated a little — the moment the medication kicks in is like unlocking a secret level in life. All these years, you’ve existed at half power because chronic illness Harrison Bergeroned your ass, so any meds that take even a fraction of that weight off of your shoulders are basically giving you goddamn superpowers.”

I’ve written before about the video-game inspired concept of “Playing Life on Expert” and I’ll write about it more later. That was largely inspired by this article.

“But if you’ve been really, truly sick before, you’re not knife-bait: You’re the jaded antihero. You’ve seen too much of this shit already, and sure, maybe it broke you a little — but you know what comes next. They’re Richard Dreyfuss in Jaws; you’re Captain Fucking Quint.”

Yes, my head is still in Shark Week mode.

Anyway, check it out. It gave me a laugh and stuck with me, and I hope you like it just as much.

If you find some awesomeness about invisible illness out there in internet land, share it with me! I’ll share it on facebook and twitter, and who knows? I might even mull over it for an entire year and then do a whole post on it. 🙂

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8 thoughts on “The Joys in Life that Healthy People will Never Experience

  1. Loved this part:
    But a lot of us are rusted out Pintos, just coughing and sputtering along until we inevitably explode. The moment when your meds finally kick in is like jumping out of that Pinto and right into the warm, faux-leather seat of a lovingly maintained 1994 Ford Taurus.

    What? Did you think you were going to be a Ferrari or something? No, man: You’re still a piece of shit, but the important thing is you’re not going to explode.
    ***************************************************************
    Problem is, once you feel and look like that 1994 Ford Taurus, everybody thinks you will stay like that. But we don’t.

    mo

  2. Thank you for sharing your friend’s poetry blog – oh my gosh, i’m loving his writing. Such good stuff.

    And even though I don’t have an invisible illness, i related a lot to the other link too, and will share it with all the other women I know going through my same sort of crisis. Thank you!

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