I’m well aware of the gap between announcing the 100th Post event and posting the pictures, and I feel really bad about it. I’ve been a mess lately, and I need to write about it in depth because it is related to the invisible illness experience. However, the dust hasn’t quite settled on everything, and I think it’ll be best to wait to go in to details.
But I owe my readers an explanation, so here it is in a nutshell. Remember this happy post? It’s truly depressing how recent that was, because I’ve lost my job. Completely. I went from security in a salary and being ensconced in employer-provided health insurance, to having no idea what to do now. It took me completely off guard.
Since I’m happily married, I figure that being unexpectedly fired is the closest thing I’ll experience to a painful breakup. This sudden rejection was like an arrow to the heart, and it sent me in to sweatpants and buckets of ice cream for many days.
After that, I was caught up in spending time with my little cousins from California. They adored me, and this ego boost solidified my desire to become a mother while also making me question WTF I want to do career-wise even more than before.
And finally, we drove up to Oklahoma where my family from all over had rented a small village of cabins for a weekend camping trip. It was nice to get away, spend some time in nature, see the stars for a change, and of course, love on the little ones.
I had a great time, and then we got some really great news! My husband got a job with a local scene shop. He can quit waiting tables and do what he really loves.
I’ve got a lot to smile about. But there’s still a dark cloud hanging over my head. What’s going to happen to me? Do I pay (A LOT) to keep my health insurance? Do I have a choice? Is this the industry I want to be in, and if not, am I qualified for anything else? Again, do I have a choice?? How am I going to get out of my parent’s house and in to my own home? How much longer can I evade surgery? What will tomorrow bring?
So. That’s where I’ve been. Now it’s time to dust off and keep on writing.
We now return to your regularly scheduled health advocacy. 🙂